The story of a legionary who spent 15 years in the communist prisons of the 1940s.The tortures, murders, horrors he saw all this time are recorded in this book.An exceptional book about life seen from a hopeless perspective, sprinkled with despair and humiliation,sometimes taken to the extreme of the desire for death.
“One evening, Ţurcanu informs us that those who do not bring any information in two or three days will not be taken to work, but will go directly to the torture chamber.
How hard and unbearable it was to work in workshops, due to the excessively high norms, compared to our physical conditions, we prefer it instead of the cell and, especially, instead of the torture chambers.After so many sleepless nights and torture, my head was slapping, I felt that from moment to moment I would go completely insane. In the intimacy of my conscience I was trying to make an excuse that I was trying.
It was the first time since the revelations began that I felt that I had reached the limit of suffering, patience, and despair94.I felt and lived the horror that beyond this limit I will not be able to do anything. Little is said that I wanted death; I cursed the day I was born and it crossed my mind to curse my mother.
It was the world of horror, hatred, lies, hypocrisy, earthly hell, where the devils and their servants tormented people to make them like them. But what was my mother guilty of, when I alone agreed to choose my destiny? Didn’t all this happen because I had become attached to helpless matter?
Why had I not had the courage and strength to join my comrades, who had faced death as a man, in Pitesti?At the balance between madness and death, I seemed to have nothing human or earthly in me.
The strength to endure and the mental and physical endurance were over. Most of us had come here, except for the martyrs and those whom God protected with His grace and power. At the limit of patience and suffering, the madness of despair and possession has settled in us.”