Former Amazon CEO and billionaire Jeff Bezos took a very expensive joyride to space on Tuesday — and yes, he made it back.
Following the launch, The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert examined the “momentous day in the history of some people having way too much money,” and exactly how important it was (or wasn’t).
“It was all billed like some big, official, important thing. It’s not. It’s fun, I love space travel, good for them! But it’s not important. Here’s how I know it’s not important: I hosted the last one of these, for Branson. Lot of fun, but talk show hosts don’t anchor historic events,” Colbert said.
“Plus, both times, when they landed, the billionauts sprayed each other with Champagne like it was the end of a yacht race. If something is really important, it doesn’t need a big, wet celebration. You’ll remember Buzz Aldrin didn’t douse Neil Armstrong with Gatorade.”
We all saw it, and Colbert noted the undeniably phallic shape of Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket, one that launched a thousand dick jokes and memes. “I guess it’s true what they say: Billionaires and their rockets end up looking just like each other,” he said.
Colbert also picked up the slap of a post-flight moment when Bezos said the quiet part out loud, telling a press conference, “I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer, because you guys paid for all this.”
“Ha ha ha! It’s funny because he doesn’t pay taxes or his employees,” said Colbert.