It’s another Monday and that means it’s time for another Cover Snark!
From Carole: One Nipple headed west, one missing in the east. That is the one of the worst photo-shopped backgrounds – it looks like giant mutant carnation stalks starting to envelop him from the right – and ohh what can the SBTB do with that series title Farm Pleasures?? The mind boggles…
Tara: If I never read the phrase “Farm Pleasures” again, it will be too soon.
Also, maybe he’s a side character from The Chrysalids, if I recall my tenth grade reading correctly (let’s be honest, I probably don’t).
Elyse: It looks like he has a growth under his pec. You’re gonna want to get that checked out.
Sarah: Wouldn’t there be a LOT of cuts and scrapes from walking through the photoshopped corn with your shirt open?
Shana: Maybe he’s into the painful feeling of corn stalks poking into his chest tumor?
From Dawn: I love your Cover Snark posts and think I found a cover for you to consider. I am still trying to figure out how they are still on top of the water or if they are in a gel bed.
Elyse: You know they’ve both got sand in their nooks and crannies
Sarah: That looks rather dangerous.
I wonder if they’re related to these folks?
Amanda: Imagine if that’s what your family was known for. Getting busy in dangerous seaside settings.
Claudia: “Yes, the ship is gone, but let’s get down to business.”
Shana: Some people look sexy with wet hair. This dude, not so much.
From Jewel: I thought you’d appreciate this one. The guy looks like he’s screaming internally.
I am now imagining this person’s internal monologue.
Tara: “How is it possible that I, a billionaire, still can’t get out of this Christmas celebration? I just want to sit quietly at home, but Mother insists. I don’t care that she told me to smile more naturally. Constipated smile is the best she’s getting.”
Elyse: This is what happens when The Hallmark Channel becomes sentient and creates its own actor.
Sneezy: Oh my god, ELYSE THAT IS A TERRIFYING THOUGHT!!!!!!
Amanda: Yes, Elyse! It’s like if you put all the Hallmark heroes into a neural net.
Claudia: Title should be “Christmas Miracles in Uncanny Valley.”
From anonymous: Her legs. I can’t stop looking at her legs.
Sarah: Nope, me neither
It’s Betty Spaghetti
Sarah: OMG IT IS. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT BETTY
Tara: Or her father was a stickbug.